excited but torn...

Everything has happened so fast. Its so hard to believe we are going to have a baby in the house in only 11 weeks or so. It seems like just yesterday i was broken at the realization i could not bear children of my own. It seems like just yesterday my heart broke again as we were turned down at adopting from china. then, just when we are all set to go with adopting from Korea, actually waiting for our referral.... possibly expecting a baby in spring of 09.... we find out we are pregnant!!! Don't get me wrong, i am thrilled at the thought of having this little girl:) The idea of being pregnant still boggles my mind! There is a part of me though that is disappointed about being torn off the Korean list. i really am excited about that little punky too! I have still kept up with the Korean blog and as i peered at the list today, they are already into November 07! This means we would have received our referral and our baby would have been here possibly the same time as this baby girl or shortly after. Is it weird that i feel grieved about a baby that was never officially mine? all those tears of sorrow over not being able to conceive and now i am pregnant and grieving over our being skipped over in the referral department! I don't want to give off the impression that i am ungrateful for the blessing God has given us here in being pregnant with our daughter. I guess i just don't understand his plan sometimes.
All is well.....

BABY NEWS

My goodness it's hard to believe we are almost five months along now! At our last dr. apt. we were told our baby looks like a girl!!!! we are still waiting until our ultrasound on oct. 29th to see for sure before totally planning on a girl!!! I must admit though, i already bought three adorable baby girl outfits!!!!! If we find out the baby is a boy i will just pass those sweet little baby girl clothes on to my sister in law who is due in Feb!!! I'm feeling good and my tummy is starting to grow!!!!! we are sooooooooooooooo excited!!! GOD ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!11

we are out of the 1st trimester

Well, we had our Dr appointment yesterday. Everything looked great! Our little baby is actually 14 weeks, not twelve, which was an awesome surprise. He/she had little hands, fingers, arms, legs, ears..... so cool to see! I got a little weepy watching this ultrasound. This was my first belly ultrasound, which was much more fun then the others! We are very excited! So continue to keep us in prayer as we progress in this pregnancy!

yay a vacation!

Cant wait until we leave for vacation!!! We are booking our reservations today for our mexico vacation! we are planning on leaving nov. 2 and returning november 11th! we are going to aventura spa and resort! sooooooooooooooo excited and looking forward to time away with my love!!!

Today the little dimario fetus is 10 weeks old today! In two more weeks i will be 3 months pregnant!!! How crazy is that? Still worried that the little guy will be alright and will be able to carry him to full term! Thus far everything is going smoothly and once we hit the second trimester i will be a bit relieved to say the least. My belly is growing a little bit. It feels hard and bloated. My regular clothes don't fit properly or comfortably. Maternity clothes don't fit right now either due the fact that my tummy isn't big yet! so i always just feel fat and bloated, kind of ready for the belly to be bigger so i at least look a little pregnant!
anywho, we are so excited and just hoping and praying this little dimario bumble is doing ok!!!
keep us in your prayers!!!!
thanks...

the baby is doing well thus far!!

We had our third doctors appointment yesterday! once again everything looks great and the baby grew quit a bit. The baby is now a little over 20mm. i know, still so stinking small, but growing tons none the less! We are just a little over two months. I'll keep ya's posted! please keep us and the babe in prayer!
thanks

our baby is growing!!!

on wed. nick and i had the privilege of seeing our little peanut on the monitor and seeing his/her little heart flicker!!! Nick was so excited! it was really cute how his eyes lit up when he saw our baby on the screen! The doc said everything looked perfect! All my levels were perfect too! What a relief! we are just anxious to get through the first trimester!
keep us and the bumble in prayer!

WE'RE PREGNANT!!!

YUP, YOU READ CORRECTLY! WE FOUND OUT YESTERDAY THAT WE ARE SIX WEEKS PREGNANT!!! NEVER EXPECTED THIS TO HAPPEN, BUT LET ME TELL YA, WE ARE SOOOOOOO EXCITED. KEEP US IN YOUR PRAYERS THAT THE BABE IS HEALTHY AND I'M ABLE TO CARRY HIM/HER TO FULL TERM. THE DOCTOR SAID EVERYTHING LOOKED GREAT YESTERDAY SO FAR. I GO FOR MY SECOND ULTRA SOUND ON WEDNESDAY AND WE ARE HOPING TO HEAR THE BUMBLES HEART BEAT!!!
WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO

Talk about a faith challenge! Throughout my christian journey i have been challenged often my life circumstances and just by my own self doubting heart at times. Each day brings a new set of hurdles to overcome. Each day brings new opportunity to either hold fast to the promises of God or rely on my own feeble ideas and emotions. Each day is a clean slate, free from the mistakes of yesterday... free from the disappointments and all the ways i let my God down.. So often, sad to say i only remember all the ways i continuously fail my God and my heart refuses to rest in His grace and forgiveness. Its crazy really.... One would think that if we were always aware of Gods forgiveness we might take advantage of his loving kindness and choose to sin more. For me the opposite has been true. When i am aware, i mean truly aware of the forgiveness offered to me in Christ. When i am reminded that my slate is wiped clean each day... When I am confident that God truly has my back, loves me and desires for me to draw near to him regardless of how dirty my hands may be... it is in those times my heart and faith are renewed and i feel able to withstand temptation. It is in those times my heart rejoices in the love of God and i am excited and desiring to please him! During the times my heart feels condemned, broken, unworthy.... Those are the times i am tempted to look at myself and i am reminded i do not measure up. I feel unable to draw near to my God for fear i will be rejected.. whats the use... Today is a new day and although i am not worthy.. although i am filthy i will treasure and cling to the truth that i am washed clean in Christ! I am a saint! I am his child!
Lord i thank you for all the blessings you have bestowed upon me this day.... Thank you God for you son and for the possibility for me to know you. thank you for seeking me and loving me even though i am unlovable! Father i ask your forgiveness for all the ways i let you down each day. forgive me for not clinging to you each day. Please draw me to yourself in a new and fresh way today.. remind me of your unfailing love, patience and desire to make me more like yourself! Please fill my heart anew with your holy spirit and grow my dependence on you!
i love you lord.....

little update i guess...

I'm feeling much better! The other day a couple came in with two beautiful little baby boys from Korea! They were adorable and i have to admit I'm feeling pretty excited to have our little guy/girl home sometime hopefully this year! This is definitely the closest we've ever come to being parents! My in laws bought us a stroller and a bath seat! how stinking cool is that? My family wants to have a big shower for us sometime this fall once we find out what sex this little bumble is! Too funny... I'm gonna be a momma!!
Things at the store are going well. We have two awesome girls working for us now. They both are very good with the customers and we are happy to have them on our team! Anywho, all is well...

hum drum day.....

Today is one of those days when i feel blah.... I feel kind of down and overwhelmed with the people around me... There is so much to be grateful for and yet today my heart and mind are consume with all the pain and undesirable circumstances in the lives of those i love and in some ways my own. Nick and i have so much to be thankful for and there are so many wonderful and exciting things going on in our lives right now!!!!! We have a little Asian baby on the way!!! HELLO, we are going to be parents!!!! Our business is going well so far! We just got a new pup! Relationships in the fam are well! I love love love our home and the yard! I could go on forever about all these silly things i'm grateful for but i will spare you the reading. I guess sometimes i just feel alone in the world in spite of my awesome best friend and all the wonderful people god has surrounded me with, including family and friends! This too shall pass i know! Looking forward to a new day tomorrow!

a new addition to the dimaio family!

WE GOT A NEW PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her name is Bella! She is black and white, nine weeks old, and she is a baby beagle! Sooooo cute! So, we now have four pups. Nick only allows two in our bed these days, but I'm sure in time i will be successful at converting him to think otherwise!

TIME IS FLYING BY

ITS SO HARD TO BELIEVE WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A REFERRAL SINCE OCT. 07!! As i stumbled onto the Korean adoption blog through Bethany i read that six little ones were matched just this month, and that the list of waiting families is now at august 07!! We are October 07, which means things are speeding up quite fast! Anything could happen and we could end up waiting way longer then expected, but the thought of the list beginning to dwindle down is exciting and frightening! In so many ways i'm so ready to be a momma, however, the reality of the responsibility and sacrifice of being a parent is startling at times. Anywho, just wanted to fill you all in on whats new with our adoption!

ADOPTION UPDATE!!

OK, so the adoption scoop.... Well, we still have no concrete idea as to when we will receive our referral, however, there were two referrals this month!! We were told waiting families are looking at approximately 10-12 months from approval date to a referral. We were officially approved Oct. 27, 07, bringing us to Oct. or Nov. of 08! I believe I figured that out correctly! So, for those of you who are keeping up with our journey, pray pray pray that God blesses us with a little one sooner than later!
Thanks all!!

one of those days i guess...........

I just feel plain old blah today... I feel sad in a way, overwelhmed with life just a bit. Summers are difficult because we work so much! I'm already looking forward to that two week vacation this winter! Bermuda here we come! If you read this and you are the praying kind, please keep nick and i in your prayers that God would draw us near to himself and protect us from neglecting him and each other. Trust me it's not that we mean to neglect us, there is nothing else we enjoy more than hanging out with each other, its just so dang difficult when you work seven days a week. by the time you get home, eat dinner, clean up and shower its time for bed! Things will slow down a bit for us once our employees start working in the end of may. Then we will generally be home together by six pm and hopefully have Sundays off to fellowship and spend time together! just pray we can keep it together till then!
much thanks!

My heart overflows.......

At times its amazingly difficult to maintain friendships. I'm the type of person that wears my heart on my sleeve, showing my true self regardless of how ugly or beautiful i may appear to others. The good, bad, ugly, selfish, selfless, etc.. i just let it all hang out just because that's who i am. I was raised in a family with lots of problems, we're talking issues out the ying yang folks!!! My mom always told me not to broadcast my problems on the street, but to keep "our" issues in our home! I followed this rule until early adulthood/late teen years until i felt i was about to burst! There is so much freedom in being who you are, issues and all! People don't always understand or know what to say, or how to react. However, it's their problem if they lack the passion, empathy, and life experience it takes to still respect and love people regardless of their background or current issues! I am so thankful for the lessons learned as a result of my painful life experiences. Those hurtful situations have helped mold me into the person Jesus desires me to be. The past year has been tremendously difficult due to some once again, insanely hurtful circumstances. I feel grateful for those of you who have walked along side of me during this time! God truly used you to help mend my heart! I feel so blessed for having experienced this crazy situation! I know that sounds so unrealistic and nonhuman. I promise you from the bottom of my heart God is so amazing and He has truly transformed my life and heart by allowing me to go through this! So much good has come as a result of what was truly ugly! At times i feel the painful sting from the judgement others dish out regarding my life! All i have to say is whatev!!! I am me....I cannot apologize for some of the things I've gone through. Sometimes it feels like people put us on a pedestal, thinking we are better than we actually are. Like we are incapable of experiencing certain trials, or causing them for that matter. Those who act like they have it all together are doing just that, acting! I truly believe we all have issues, baggage, etc... Generally people feel afraid to share what's really going on for fear of being judged, or others measuring them up! Just a hint of advice people, we all fall short! Christ is the true measure and guess what, you fail, i fail, we all fail the test! some people are spared various hurts in this life! praise God if this statement applies to you! Many of us will walk through the fire various times in this life! Praise God he is there to walk beside us and turn what was intended for harm into something beautiful! Lets all try to be that person God can use to demonstrate his love and grace to those hurting people amidst their tumultuous situations!

As time goes by....

Well, we are well into the long wait regarding our adoption! Generally its fun to dream of when we have our little one home with us, yet at times it seems like just that, a dream... I thought when we were approved by Korea it would feel real, and it did for just a moment. The next step was getting approval from immigration. Once that step was completed i thought for sure this adoption would feel real, and once again, for a split second it did feel real. Now are kind of in limbo, just waiting for that day when we will receive that referral with the pic of our little boy or girl! We have no idea when that day will be, so we are just going on with our lives, knowing in the back of our minds that one day, hopefully in the near future, we will be parents! I am grateful we are so busy because it takes the focus off of the fact that we are indeed waiting. But i must confess, some days i wonder when we will have him/her home with us! I sure hope God continues to bless this whole process and keeps things smooth and consistent! I also pray that He gives us endurance, patience, and hope for through those times when things may not go smoothly!

God is good...........

Well, thanks to all those who prayed for my friend Melissa... I was able to chat with her a little bit over the phone the other day! She wants to come visit us sometime soon. Please pray i get the opportunity to share Gods love with her!
thanks once again!!!

Just A Small Bummer............

OK, so i talked to SW today.... It went well although i feel a little bummed. She said that we are half way between the waiting for a referral list, which means we probably won't have a referral by august. She said it could happen, however its unlikely due to the fact that referrals are not coming in consistently right now. She said hopefully by the end of this year, which is around January. So with all that said, this means we may have our child home by spring of summer of next year. Things could totally speed up in the referral department, and there is still a chance we could have our referral by august or September so pray pray pray that God keeps the process speedy and we have our baby home sooner than later!
Thanks all...

Our God is so good!!

Life has a way of surprising us sometimes. Today i feel so thankful for all the people God has put in my life who love me and walk with me through this journey called life. I am so happy and grateful to God for the awesome relationship he has allowed my mom and i to share. I have always wanted a close relationship with her but never thought it possible. We actually were never close until i was in my early twenties. Once she moved to Michigan our relationship was challenged quite a bit. It was as if we were getting to know each other for the first time, crazy as that sounds. After spending much quality time with her over the past five years, we have developed an amazing friendship and treasured mother daughter relationship that i never dreamed possible. I admire my mom in so many ways. She is such a sweet and giving person. I love her with all my heart! So i guess you could say this post is dedicated to my momma! I love ya!

Spring is here!!

Spring is here!! Yay!! Although the weather is still chilly, today the sun is shining and that makes all the difference in the world! The store is coming along and we excited to see just how busy we'll be once summer break begins! We haven't started the nursery just yet, but we did begin clearing the baby room out so we can start painting etc. when time allows! Still can't believe we are going to be parents!

WONDERFUL NEWS!!!

YAY! WE ARE OFFICIALLY APPROVED BY IMMIGRATION!!! NOW ALL WE DO IS WAIT FOR THAT REFERRAL, WHICH COULD COME AS EARLY AS AUGUST OR SEPTEMBER OF THIS YEAR!! WE ARE SOOOOOO EXCITED! PLEASE PRAY GOD CONTINUES TO BLESS OUR STEPS AND THAT HE BRINGS OUR BABY HOME SOON!!! I'M SO HESITANT TO EVEN SPEAK THOSE WORDS FOR FEAR SOMETHING WILL GO WRONG, BUT OH WELL!

ITs all good

OK so life has been crazy... as a lot of you know! This past year or two has been full of some crazy highs and some extremely low lows! I am thankful to say that life is once again back to normal! I am so thankful for all the blessings God bestows upon both nick and I. Over the past three days or so I've been occupied with the thought of being a mom possibly within the next year or so. CRAZY!!! I'm hesitant to get too excited just do the fact that we still need to hear back from immigration, but let me tell ya friends, I'm sooooooooo excited! As soon as we hear back from them I'm going to go nuts getting that baby room together! I've dreamed of being a mommy forever and the thought or that dream coming true melts my heart! I will keep ya's posted! I talked to our SW yesterday and she said for us to let her know when we hear from immigration that we are approved! That made me feel good that she didn't' even question weather or not we would be approved, but when we are approved! I know, i could totally be jumping the gun, but i cant help myself!

Probably the greatest need for the world today is for reconciliation. In order to establish a good relationship with others one must first admit his full share of responsibility; and if one has been wronged then he must be willing to forgive unconditionally- for partial forgiveness is not forgiveness at all....

author unknown....

A PERSON WHO DOES NOT UNDERSTAND ANOTHER'S SILENCES WILL NOT UNDERSTAND HIS WORDS EITHER....

things are good!

Some of you have been asking what the deal is with our adoption plans, while others remain in the dark about the whole thing! So for those of you who haven't' heard, Nick and I are hoping to adopt a baby from Korea! we are unsure of the time frame,but are told we could have a referral as early as august or September of this year! we are still waiting to hear back from immigration so we haven't told too many people yet, but whatever, God is in control of this whole situation so we will just trust Him! We are excited but are holding back a little just in case something happens and we are unable to adopt! Once we get the final word that its a go, stand by,the excitement will be unable to contain!
that's all for now folks!
take care

REMEMBER

ALWAYS ADD, ALWAYS WALK, ALWAYS PROCEED; NEITHER STAND STILL, NOR GO BACK,NOR DEVIATE; HE THAT STANEDETH STILL PROCEEDETH NOT;HE GOETH BACK THAT CONTINUETH NOT; HE DEVIATETH THAT REVOLTETH; HE GOETH BETTER THAT CREEPETH IN HIS WAY THAN HE THAT MOVETH OUT OF HIS WAY.

AUGUSTINE......

LONG AWAITED VACATION PHOTO'S

WE HAD AN AWESOME TIME WHILE WE WERE AWAY! UNFORTUNATELY LIFE HAS NOT STOPPED EVEN FOR A SECOND SINCE WE RETURNED JUST TWO DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS! OUR COMPUTER SERVICE WAS DOWN FOR A WHILE SO I'M JUST GETTING PHOTO'S UP NOW!
HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY!

HELLO FRIENDS, I'M BACK!!!

MY GOODNESS ITS BEEN FOREVER HASN'T IT? LIFE HAS BEEN CRAZY! OUR INTERNET WAS DOWN FOR THE PAST, WELL, FOREVER... WE JUST GOT HIGH SPEED INTERNET AT THE OFFICE YESTERDAY! WHEWW,,, I FEEL SO DISCONNECTED! WE ARE ALL SET UP AT THE STORE AND ARE PLANNING TO OPEN THIS WEEKEND! SOOOOO EXCITED! THE STORE LOOKS AWESOME. WE ARE SO EXCITED! AS FAR AS THE KOREAN ADOPTION, WE ARE STILL WAITING TO HEAR FROM IMMIGRATION. WE HAD OUR FINGER PRINTING APPOINTMENT LAST WEEK SO NOW WE JUST WAIT TO HEAR FROM THEM. THE TIME FRAME TO HEAR BACK IS ABOUT TWO TO THREE MONTHS. SOOOO..... AT LEAST WE ARE BUSY UNTIL THEN! HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH EVERYONE!
SMOOCHES

Nothing crazy exciting...

I haven't blogged in forever it seems. Nothing new and exciting to report, so i thought i would just fill ya all in on what's happening on the DiMario home front!
School starts back up on January 11th. I will be taking pharmacology 2. We signed the lease for our store and our move in date is march 1st. We are excited and preparing ourselves for a crazy busy spring and summer!
Nothing new with our Korea adoption. We are just waiting around for the next step.
We decided to paint our kitchen and hallway yet once again! For those of you who are close to us know that we are forever re-painting the rooms in our house. We look forward to the day when we are happy with every room in our home so we can stop this never ending cycle! Only 5 rooms left :(...
Other than that we are enjoying our time off together and things are going well.